This is part 25 of my series on Lojong; a Buddhist mind training technique.
This slogan asks that we do not focus on the faults, weaknesses or defects that we see in others. As mature adults, we don’t typically point fingers and make fun, but what happens at a more subtle level? We tend to be fascinated or repulsed by what we see as defects in another and focus solely on that as opposed to the actual person. We may avoid such a person or ignore them; distance ourselves in some way. While we should not pretend that a fault or weakness does not exist, we can see past it to see the person as they really are. As Acharya Judy Lief says, “when you see people in this straightforward way, you are not embarrassed by their ugliness, weakness, or infirmity. Instead, you simply meet them where they are.”
Attempt to expand your awareness to encompass the whole person rather than reacting to what may make you uncomfortable.