I’m lying in bed on a lazy Sunday morning, my dog at my feet, my man at my side. Reading about how they believe they’ve found the final resting place of Jesus, how having Trump become leader of the USA would pan out, reading posts from friends of FB. Lying in bed contemplating life.
My dog snores at my feet, not a care in the world. He’s safe in the knowledge that there will always be food, that he will be loved and cared for. My man quietly watches his soccer….pardon me…football game. Content in his life. I lay here wondering about everything. Was it Jesus’ tomb for real? That’s pretty cool. Were there any bones in the tomb? I guess after all this time the earth would have taken the bones too. Finding myself awed at the thought of this being his tomb. And then switching gears. How can anyone not see Trump for what he is? How can there be so many people in support of a man like this? That’s puzzled me all through this election season. Genuine fear if he actually makes it in. Torn between posting all I can against him and not feeding the dragon by paying attention. Screaming inside “get out of my head Trump!” Trying to maintain sanity by focussing elsewhere. Listen to my dog snoring, a somewhat comforting sound. His life is a comfort. A gentle beautiful little soul who wants nothing more than to be with me. Life can’t be bad when dogs and the people that love them exist.
The week has been a…hmmm, what’s the word….I was going to say interesting, but that’s not it. I had the pleasure of teaching yoga classes to people who genuinely care about life and decency. I’ve had the pleasure of speaking to one of my students briefly about his experience of my post on commitment. I’ve had the pleasure of having a couple of great volunteers at my day job take on tasks with enthusiasm. I’ve had to ask friends and family to consider being tested to donate a kidney to me (truth be told I was too chicken to ask myself, I had my sister do it). I’ve thought a great deal about that whole process. I wonder what happens if…..fill in the blanks. I guess this is a time of great contemplation for me. I’m looking at life in a different way these days. Wondering what it would be like to have someone else’s organ in my body. Wondering what effect anti-rejection mess will have on my life. Wondering how I’ll feel about it all. There’s a bit of guilt already to be honest. Which is ridiculous I know, but there just the same. Wondering why my kidneys keep regenerating in the same way when we shed cells and new ones are always being created. Wondering is energetic healing in any form really exists. It doesn’t feel like it does. Wondering if people know how insulting it is to say stay positive and act like that will cure me. Like I’m giving myself a disease. Just wondering.
But then there’s my dog. Content in his knowledge that I’ll be there for him no matter what and I believe him.