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Feeling Love

In my last post I talked about my new level of kidney disease. During the past several days I have had people reach out to tell me that they’re sending love, positive, healing energy, and offering help. I’ve had a friend set up a weekly meditation on my behalf. I’ve had two friends tell me they would like to get tested to be possible donors. And of course, there are all the people who have come forward to be tested. You are all my heros. Many say “you would do the same for me”. The truth is you can never know if you would until faced with that decision. I’m feeling so much love coming my way that it’s impossible to be afraid for what’s to come. That may be the thing that saves me.
Throughout my life I’ve felt like a bit of an oddball. One of the most painful memories I have as a teen is a guy pointing me out as the one with the looks while my sister he identified as the one with the personality (equally painful to her I’m sure). I’ve always felt as if I were just a little weird, a little out of step with others. When I was young it was a painful feeling. These days I’ve become comfortable with who I am. Although I’m still surprised when someone says I’m fun or a good conversationalist. That shy, somewhat awkward kid steps out from behind me and says “you actually like me?” And so this outpouring of love I’m feeling coming to me, and coming from me, is a surprise. The level of caring and support I live with is amazing. It’s awe-inspiring. 
To everyone who has wished me well in any way, please know how grateful I am to you. You’ve brought out in me something that is hard to put a finger on. The words I know don’t seem quite adequate. Please know that every bit of love you send my way is coming back to you threefold. You’ve opened my heart up to bursting❤️

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4 Comments on “Feeling Love

  1. I’m thinking about you like crazy….❤
    Love Carmen xoxo

  2. Having recently gone through a pretty awful ordeal, I also went through the same flood of love from others. There are no words to explain how it touches you and heals you in so many ways. It makes you stronger and helps you to fight. I hope all turns around for you Rena and you get well soon. Let me know if I can do anything.

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