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Those you count on

I’ve learned an important lesson over the past few months. Illness, and other major life events or crises, teach you who is truly in your corner. I’ve had so much support, some from very unexpected sources. I’ve also had a lack of support from some people that I always thought would have my back. So my family and friends has both expanded in different directions and shrunk unexpectedly. I’m not interested in one way relationships. Life is too important and too short to waste on those who don’t have a real and deeply rich relationship with you. Connecting with others has become much more important to me and I’m quite thankful for this opportunity to learn who I truly connect with.
All through our lives, if we’re being authentic, we fine tune relationships to become more meaningful, more intuitive and more real. We have people enter and leave our lives, we learn lessons from a lot of people. Those that bring us pain and strong emotional reactions are often great teachers. But those relationships are just that -lessons- we need to know when to let them go. Our lives become better when we take the lesson and get to the other side. We learn to surround ourselves with those to whom we are willing to give our time, our talent and our heart and they are willing to give back the same. It’s an interesting journey, this growing and maturing. Now at 50, I’ve crossed this place where I’m no longer willing to spend my personal time on anyone I don’t connect with on a deep level.
As I said, some very unexpected support came my way. I will work on developing those relationships further. I will continue to cultivate an open heart to those who have been there for me. I will give back what I have received wholeheartedly, openly, authentically. That’s the least I can do after being given this gift of rebirth. I hope that everyone is able to find their supports and they don’t need a major surgery to figure it out. I hope everyone can find their peace and love.

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5 Comments on “Those you count on

  1. As always, well said, Reena. There was a chapter In my book, “Love Lessons from My Son – A Mother’s Journey Through a Teen’s Cancer” which I called “Friends, Family, and Other Strangers.” Yes, so interesting to observe all of it and to see that, no matter what, we are always supported, often in most unexpected ways from the most unexpected people.

  2. I experienced trauma and this reconnected me with some lost family members. I was overjoyed at the time and firmly felt even though the circumstances were traumatic that these people were supposed to be back in my life. Initially their presence was frequent, especially during my hospitalisation, but it soon became evident that their support was to be short lived. After the physical challenges I faced changed to more emotional/mental needs the support I received dropped off completely. It appears that if I don’t contact them I am left alone to face my battles. I understand that mental health is a difficult taskmaster and that they are not used to seeing a once vibrant and confident person suffer with such debilitating anguish but it hurt me deeply and in essence has contributed to my ongoing problems. I am grateful to the friends that show me continued support and am in process of building my support framework with new connections.

    • That’s interesting. A lot of people have a hard time dealing with others’ mental health issues, even though we all experience them from time to time. I hope that those in your life now are truly there for you. I always have my sisters, they’ve always been my biggest supporters, especially after our mom passed away. I keep them close to my heart and know how lucky I am to have them in my life. Thanks for sharing your story

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