The Illusion of Control

Do you try to control what happens in your life? How does that work out for you? I have been a controlling person and I can tell you hat it was like for me. I went crazy with stress and anger. Plus i never did get any control over what was happening. When we think we can control the circumstances or, even more difficult, the people round us, we set ourselves up for disappointment, at the least, or a great struggle of wills.
What to do to get through this? Practice the art of surrender. Surrender in this sense isn’t about giving up, but rather letting go and bringing more peace, acceptance and love into your own life and maybe other people’s too. And when we surrender, it sometimes can set others up for their own version of surrendering. And that can be magical. All of a sudden the battle of wills is replaced by mutual respect and may even lead to working together instead of against each other.
If it’s difficult to imagine getting to that place, perhaps you can try surrendering in smaller ways and lead up over time. Do you try to control other things that you really can’t? Maybe start with that. Maybe you can meditate and surrender to your own mind rather than attempting to control it. Watch your thoughts instead, find the amusement in how the mind just keeps trying to escape the quiet. And notice who is doing the watching. That part of you has surrendered.
We can also surrender to what is. Have you been in a yoga class and been internally yelling at the teacher to stop holding this damn pose? The teacher is challenging you to surrender to the pose, to feel it, all the discomfort and the strength it takes to stay. Accept it and then move on rather than holding on. When you are finally able to tap into your body awareness in such a situation and make the fine adjustments needed, you have surrendered to it.
Through the week, try to notice the places where you can practice this valuable skill. Your peaceful mind will thank you.


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