The very heart of yoga practice is ‘abyhasa’ – steady effort in the direction you want to go.” ~ Sally Kempton
I’ve written about this subject in a variety of way, from a discipline point of view, from a yoga philosophy point of view and a coaching one as well. I was reminded once again of this subject when I was in a workshop on personal leadership the other day.
The presenter, Mara Vittuzzi from New Avenue Leadership, who spoke of ‘ineffectives’, the ways that we distract from what needs to happen to move us in the direction we want to go. Everyone has their ways, for me it’s often puttering – you know, this must be cleaned right now, this must be put in its spot, this window suddenly looks dirty lol. The other thing I do is take courses; I’m a course junky. Not that taking courses is a bad thing; but they aren’t always helpful in the journey I’ve chosen and are usually on a whim. They do distract. (By the way, I am not saying that courses are a bad thing here. They create more knowledge, more openness in the mind and are often quite enriching. I just happen to be in courses literally all the time and even though most of them are ‘do at your own pace’ courses, my own pace is to absorb myself fully until it’s complete sometimes at the exclusion of other things that need to happen- I can be a tad obsessive).
There are times that I turn away from something because it just seems so overwhelming and I somehow think that I need to do everything alone. (It’s funny, because as a coach this is something I help others with. Proof that just like you shouldn’t be your own doctor, you shouldn’t be your own coach!) Although I’m very driven in terms of building my business, I simply don’t always know what needs to happen.
This workshop that I did was part of a program that I’m in that is for women entrepreneurs to accelerate their business growth. After the workshop my business was in the limelight to explore and for others to offer guidance and I became so overwhelmed that I was crying (Lord I cry easily these days!) I was reminded by this beautiful group of women that I am not alone. They are there to help. I already had one person reach out to give me feedback on my instagram page and my website. I am not alone.
I have always relied on my family to be there for me, and they have been in a big way. But to get help from other people is difficult for some reason. I’m quick to offer compassion and friendliness and a non-judgmental space for people, but I’m not quick to trust people to be there for me. I know where this comes from, it doesn’t take a lot of analysis if you know my background. But it’s so deeply entrenched and I’m realizing more and more how it’s affecting me still. My business, my services in other words, is all about creating a safe, non-judgmental, often fun and spirit-centered space for people to become healthier versions of themselves and to learn to love themselves. What I’m discovering about myself along the way (let’s face it, when we teach or offer up services, we always learn too) is that the only people I trust fully is me and the family I grew up with. That is a sad truth and one I don’t really like to put out there, but I’ve always been brutally honest on this blog and I don’t intend to stop now. My next job then, as I create this safe space with all the qualities I spoke of, is to create it for me too. And part of that is to trust people to help me out and to let go of this idea that I need to do it all alone. I am not alone. My new mantra – I am not alone.