In yoga philosophy the concept of discipline (specifically self-discipline) is referred to as niyamas. It covers cleanliness, contentment, spiritual austerities, study of sacred scripture and surrender to God. That might not be the kind of discipline you’re used to hearing about, because the restraints we’re used to are what we aren’t allowed to do. Don’t eat that food, don’t act that way, don’t cause trouble and on and on in the same vein so we can fit into society.
Discipline for me is a bit different than both of these concepts. For one, I think that saying no to things I don’t want to do is part of discipline – it moves me closer to who I want to be in the world. If I’m wasting time with things that are not important to me (which is , of course, the most important commodity we all have) I’m allowing myself to be moved away from what I want in life. It sometimes takes great courage to say no. Women, in particular, are meant to be people pleasers, and many of us have allowed pieces of ourselves to disappear or shrink in an effort to please. If people are used to you saying yes to everything, and suddenly you say no, they may feel as though you are being mean or hurting them – and we can’t have that now can we!
What if you approached this differently though. What if when someone asks that you do something that you don’t want to do you simply say no, without getting caught up in the thoughts and feelings of the other person. IF you feel the need to explain, and you are not obligated by any means, simply tell them you are focussed on self-development right now and that means doing and behaving in ways that support that.
Does this mean we never do for others? Of course not. Helping others is very fulfilling and meaningful – especially when it is selfless. People we care for are typically a priority for us. I’d like to give an example of how this might work in real life though. If my employer asks me to stay late to get something done will I do that when I have a sister in need of emotional support right now? Nope. The scenario that moves me in the direction of self-growth through compassion, empathy etc is with my sister. If I’m asked to join a group that I don’t have a lot of interest in because my friend is very interested do I join? Or do I spend my time on the groups that are of most value to me? Obviously I join the group appropriate to me not my friend. We’re on two different journeys after all. I’m quite sure everyone can come up with examples like these.
When we stop growing in life, we stop living in a sense. Growth and the effort toward fulfillment is a lifetime journey and a very fluid one. We don’t reach the end, we simply grow into the next version of ourselves. That’s what keeps the spark alive and keeps us feeling young at heart. I, for one, think that’s pretty important. This is how we live on purpose.
If you’ve been following my blog for a while you’ll know about my journey with kidney disease and my eventual transplant in March of this year. I was incredibly luck to have my cousin donate a kidney to me and was only on dialysis for 6 weeks! This is not the experience of many people with kidney disease. There are many patients who are on dialysis for years awaiting transplants. That means somewhere between 15 and 20 hours a week at the hospital attached to machines to keep toxins that will eventually kill out of the body. This is obviously not a sustainable way to live. I spoke with people on the unit who were younger than me who did this for 6 and 8 years before having their transplants. This means not really being able to have a career or do many of the things that your everyday person takes for granted. Many suffer depression as a result, but that’s just one effect. It isn’t a long term solution. You can’t live forever without a working kidney.
Even after transplant, you aren’t out of the woods. You are in danger of rejecting the kidney, especially over the first year. After that there are a host of side effects from the anti-rejection drugs from bone loss to cancer. Again, this is no cure.
TheKidney Foundation of Canada has made a bold statement for the first time this year – they’ve made it their mission to find a cure for kidney disease. It was not an attainable goal before now, and it’s still going to take so much research and funds. That’s why it’s so important to me.
Did you know that in Canada 1 in 10 people suffer from kidney disease? It’s becoming more and more prevalent. Some of it is lifestyle related, but a huge number of people, like myself, have had injury to the kidney or were born with defects of some sort. I know of one person who had her first transplant at only 16 years old. And now after 10 years they are telling her that she will likely need her second in about 5 years. How many will she need before the end of her life? Let’s face it, there are not enough kidneys around to serve all of the people waiting. We need solutions now.
Will you help me to reach my goal? I’m almost 70% there. The walk takes place on September 9, so I have almost a month left. Remember that donations are tax deductible in Canada. All amounts will help. If you are able to donate, click here for the link: https://kidney.akaraisin.com/ATLWalks18/reenadavis. If you want to know more about the Kidney Foundation visit them here: https://www.kidney.ca
Thank you so much for your donation if you are able, and for your positive thoughts and encouragement if you can’t <3 .
I am sometimes asked what the difference is between health and life coaching (or simply what health coaching is in general). So I made a short video that talks about that very thing!
Health and life coaching can help you to determine what’s getting in your way from reaching the health or life that you’ve been wanting. That, of course, will be a part of my Virtual Yoga Retreat happening in September. The retreat will provide an intensive week of yoga classes, nutritional cleanse, coaching (group and one on one) and so much more! And all from the comfort of your own home.
We’ll be connecting live over Zoom allowing participants to get to know the others taking part, as well as providing and receiving support from one another as well as from me.
What results can you expect?
If you are ready to commit to showing up for yourself in a big way, sign up now – the two for one sale goes until Wednesday, August 15th. That means it’s only $200 per person right now.
If you have questions about the retreat itself, or payment options, feel free to email me at email@example.com and I’ll get back to you.
Sign up here: https://reenadavis.com/retreat/ I will only be taking a maximum of 12 people to allow lots of individual support, so sign up soon!
Have you ever started on a road to make changes that will benefit you greatly, only to find yourself waining far too quickly? Losing motivation and deciding it isn’t worth it after all? Have you thought much about why you do that?
Self-sabotage often take the form of fear. I know when I go down that road of “it’s too much” or “I’m not ready” and other like thoughts, it’s typically fear based when I get to the root. Allowing fear to hold us back from the changes we want to make in our lives, however, is optional. And we are the only ones who can stop the process, albeit often with help.
This is one form of self-sabotage. There are others, but fear seems to be the biggest one. Weight loss sometimes comes with fear that others won’t want to hang out with you if you aren’t eating ‘fun foods’. Finding success in career might come with the fear that you’ll lose friends because you’re peer group will change or others will reset your success. Any change that we make has a pay off – but so does not changing.
Consider the benefit of staying exactly as you are right now and ask yourself if that benefit is stronger than the possible outcome of making change. Imagine how it would feel to obtain the change, regardless of what it is. If the emotional impact would benefit you, isn’t it worth getting over your fear?
Retreats are always better with a friend! It gives you an accountability partner, more motivation and a different level of support.
I’m putting my virtual retreat package on a BOGO- buy one and get the second free – from August 1 – 15 only. This is your chance to get in on this fabulous package for only $200 CDN each. See my website www.reenadavis.com/retreat for details on what’s included – it’s a lot over 7 days and will set your fall up on the right foot! It even includes a fantastic cleanse!